Unconventionally oriented. I would use those words to describe myself. Even my intellect or what can be called as intelligence does not belong to the intelligentsia that is celebrated. I am no ordinary Muslim but I am an ordinary Muslim. How can that be a “paradox” — I lipmarked because I did not want to italicize nor did I want to lipmark because paradox is not always a general evil to me so I am using it connotavely . In me I have this complex that not all contradictions are generally bad too because some people can move forward in the state of extreme controversial but cannot brave a fundamental which keep it more suspended in a sort of spiritual arthritis; a bad understanding of Foucault’s pendulum. I was wondering how a Martian landscape can hold a pendulum or how Venus would with its volcano laden landscape.
When I think f Civil Disobedience or Walden I think of two things; how is this working out? How is it not working out? We all have our Waldens and our range of Civil Disobediences. Feminism initially had started out as one but nowadays is treated like a fad and ironically patriarchy is a bit of a fad too. Blaming everything on the destructive nature of XY is non-resolve to me because many men hate doing that. This why creation and destruction are difficult topics because the act of both genesis and exodus is considered more or less subjective. Democracy demarcates in a way it shouldn’t have; materialism has augmented it into a monarchy of the material majority. We are content with our discontentment that is why we do not like long term commitments for sometimes they are seemingly the actualization of a satisfaction so we think as they might bring us a form of happiness let us exclude it. That is why we love the Stock Market because it has knighted discontentment.
Ironically, we outwardly hate so called random things —- a boy who I wanted to like and be friends with decided to reject me on the basis of my randomness. I had, in his opinion, randomly offered him my telephone number without striking an actual conversation. I was thinking we talked more than once and twice and known each other for over two months thus maybe my actions were unconventional to you or what I guess to be a gendered conscience/consciousness of women but random I care to disagree. Like the sports athlete who disappoints and the Stock market which fails to be a turbulent array of messes I had been a neat chaos in that world of tic-tact-to hegemonic of contracted social contact which at times is more dangerous than STD. So like a blimp I just went away. Though to say I was not hurt would be a lie. I was but hurt is human and I must deal with it.
We soothe our discontent by piling it up in drawers and in labels. If you think on it Porn is a great icon for discontentment and so is, to some measures, BDSM. When Sade and Masoch were doing their things they were frustrated. Sade became a pervert of frustration because I think defilement was the only way he could get a blackout. Masoch though making a ledger book of sexual feelings might wane his frustrations. I think neither succeeds because they are escapists and do not want to indulge in the orgy of the real. Real life is bizarre think about 180° and 90° angles and think of obtuse angles of 35° and 45° — the world contains all these in over 4th dimensional figures and no seemingly polarity of a rubix cube — Now that’s interesting.
You know what else is intersting; Matrices because if you copy flatland like witty but dry humour than they look like matchmaking sites. But if you think of gardening they look like incomplete seeds waiting to flower. Prime numbers are not enigmatic but original not because they are segregated but they integrate a philosophy that even numbers can be satisfied with themselves and still be numbers and may not need to follow an increment chain of spasms. Same with basic algebraic formulae they are usually lettered methinks because they like mixing the beauty of the concrete with the abstract. The sphinx is beautiful but deadly because it empowers discontent and can only be killed by satisfaction; I wonder if the sphinx is a parody of a pedagogue or a scholar who is never autodidact. And the Delphian Oracle may be a parody of a pseudo-philosopher.
Either way I am scribbling away my madnesses — only I am not a Zebra think of me as an ant or a whale or something…along…some things… I hope my ink and pen didn’t hurt you much —