Your heart was once your friend

You are saddened by an amber frost
it froths and spins a lot in a dash
and putting forth a night petal
you wanted to see colours come out of it

It, that it, that was once your pal in arms
your comrade to sign off
instant message and massage the bones
you are confused
because it hurts now and sometimes skyrockets
into some fast, hazy lane
philological, psychological becoming so detrimental
and you say saying it out loud that I don’t wanna hurt
this mental play exhibits dirt and dearth and death of reason comes along
hand in hand

my body needs a friend not a fuck
I am trying to hurt less now
but my heart won’t let me
reminds me at intervals
how lonely I look
as I pass mirrors
with only my shadow to assist
the definition that I exist
it’s like a double bed with a bone in between
crowding the lungs,  my heart can’t breathe
harken it’s broken sigh and a soft cry that I despise

I am not being moody I just want to be loved
don’t you?

selfish crash of a being you doped up high on affection
so your narcotics deny my satisfaction
I want to walk around and scream and yell in an open grassland near a beach
that’s my love — love that I treasure — I crave it on my lips not sealed only with a dainty kiss — hear the mellows and bellows of the twinging-tinging blades of grass — do they dance only for an opal when ether can be scanned into a ring around the middle, my rib cage needs that fleshy jewel

my love is yet to be realized._▬

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