I am a newbie to life
life hurts too much at times
with its rambling engine and corsetted concordant gears
I am not merely accompanying it in machine tones and terminologies
but as I am a reluctant functionalist; I find my heart weary and my brain and lungs wearier

and the homeostasis of my intellectual and sexual corpus is put on hiatus against
a grain of solitary cogitative indolence ——- hyperglossia in tandem with monotony
breaks against waves of wasted salt; transfat and filth accumulated in layers around the spine
interferring with the interflow and intermission of lovely, useful stimuli —– simile to a contagion
and there is that useful gasp that we have when we break out of drowning water; episodic metaphors
here and about telling me that as I was, for the lack of better circulatory  functionals, asphyxiated
it is good I got out of it  —- human interactions are important too thus this feeling of release requires
something akin to the gleaming hotness of humans which objects gather but cannot really replace

well, I do know this —- there are lamps that I have, books and masks that I have collected
but I will lose my marbles if I think that they are the only intimates and that they are by themselves
a great arc of pretty things —- I know that lamps need nimble fingers and so do books; an artefact is named
so for the palms and bones have grazed them and they are ceased to be lonely traps of unmeated mammals

so, what does a newbie do? I am afraid I am just new in the equation or rather so
aware of it this exsanguation from which I suffered from before that it is incredulous
to think ami bhule jabo and that will be the end of it, cogito ergo sum did not begin or end thinking
rather death has not also. A neophyte to life can probably mutter a few letters but writing long ones
are still challenge prone so let me get this —- life is not only a graph blimp that charts ack-ack high
and goes on a murderous low —- shall I only think that a retirement home is the advent of life’s pinnacles?
so, I had sex and maybe seen some genetic signatures on that but what does that do? I cannot retire.
have I retired from breathing? From seeing the settings suns? Feeling the marigold warmth of moon as it
sizzles as a freaky steak on that juicy oil lathered frying pan of a night? As soon it becomes a cushy lettuce of a sun
pops out to be made up in a blue salad of a sky? —- yes, call the youths and young ones and let’s see if they work the pearl
necklace of a lunar-starry sky or ate the cotton candy sensations of the day; muddy caffeines stick on their mouths like bad lipstick after a gouty kiss.

life, just wears chronology as underwear, wired bras and extra elastic jockstrap to seem more idyllic endowed
to feed oneself a hashish and go eesh how do the cows go pasturing in the fields of pasteurized love
life is more than breathing and eating and daydreaming of that high rise office in the middle of urban nowhere
it isn’t always the murky streets and icky cigarette tongs with their skilled voyeurs and oozy flirtations with cancer
with the foreign fair guy lighting up a tea-glass on the spirit of off with the cups (no bra pun really intended)

life is a cloister, cellular, cranial, clitoral —- ball sack included; it can be a great vapour of lusts and demolishing the hurricane of patented hypocrisies that engage you only as arbitrary mood of blank bovine stares in some corporation office judging you for your funky nailpoilsh partnered together with a turttleneck and non-tight pants which made you non-labeled and harder to deal with because then thinking twice of slut shaming and well the other decanters of abuse —- but you are not the Anglo Saxon Wasp and that proves the racial dilemma again because though a rainbow is promoted; rainbows are easily digested by other light plays and are not always visible in the air so you can say that as people do not want it around so they like it as a particular of bad weather.

there is more or less a prep for a newbie and the expert may tell you suck then but you must endure because you are a newbie thus
conveniently censored —- newbies are new to life, their pulses may glow soft but their hearts need, feast on adrenalin, they don’t want to vacated out of their own bodies put up foreclosure signs and have the bank of your names and classifiers come and bulldoze them into stampeded marks out of a bad movie (preferably animated for some satirist effect) and then what will be a newbie if not a sycophant and a loser born to be just housing for some nuclear test site —- or some countercoup in a company unprepared for colonization in the form of coalition which translates simply to cold war

ummmm, here I am a newbie not entirely sure what the world is but entirely eager to know; I’ll jostle and jump, sulk and salivate, seek and saunter, sexualize and animate my body parts for my own directory and database; thank you for taking me to this boring masquerade party but I like walking out in my own face and not feel that the shadows on the walls are just highlights of the evening._—–

Speak yer mind

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