dream pine

escape to fluttering eyelids
this moth balmed in dreams
glossed in the apex of REM
solved by a puzzling mumbling
my heart is arched; your kiss a raw elixir.▬

hoarding boredom

walked on crosshairs of boredom for too long
my ennui, my identity lapsed into one
like some landslide caricatured into thin lines
of a fleshy personality; yet I smile in tides
now I know why prisons wore straight lines.▬

Gonna Give or Wait

something’s gotta give
your turn to tune and play a favour
something’s gonna waste
with this excess of chemical lust
something will foam and melt
like blood and lava tastes like
candy raw in the ocean’s tractability

will you give me seeds to flower, to breathe into
a maze of ripen tongues and solidified kisses
or will your statuesque heart bleed me in stereotyped
kaleidoscopes and bleed me dryer than a desert and wetter
than a flood — will you opine and opiate in lies while I pine
In a vigil of frosts and intricate shadow-sun play

why do you greet an expectation of love and not love itself? ▬

betrayal and more

singularly, I penetrate my own slavic mouth
with its persian tongue and robust integers
while you, with your saliva immune to blood
and haste tell me I was such a treat; spilling me
to a goblet half-full attempting to make me half-empty
you’ll never succeed…▬

Something about me

I attempt to be as honest as I can be.

I know this won’t sit well with many people. I know people may think something rude about me. For example, I honestly write about falling out with friends who may be 10 years my junior and many people may be wondering why make such a young friend. I grew up in a different era, there was no alarm in making younger friends as long as you stay respectful and respect their parents’ wishes and have them know play-by-play what you are doing (which I did). In my geographical context this is also not considered abnormal or anything taboo. I have also nieces and nephews around that age so I am accustomed to making friends with people younger than me. I also was a school teacher for a short time and I find that young people, not all but some, can have matured, refined opinions. It was a short stint because I needed to focus on my studies and because the corporate mentality of the administrators and their gross behaviour with teachers made me unhappy so I quit.

Also, I have made friends with people also like 70 years of age as well. Made pals with a man who was around 80 years old and passed away recently. If I had a falling out with one of them I would say so too. As I said for me the concept and the feelings related in friendship are not unusual because it has become, I have noticed, mainstream to think ill of people who make friends with people much older or younger than them. It is considered unsavory and at times implies something really negative and unjust. I am not like that at all. If I did something wrong and the friendship fell away it is because of difference of opinions or like a shouting argument not any actions to hurt anyone on any side’s part.

I think many people also do not like my poems because I am pretty honest about at times feeling sad or depressed or even feeling disillusioned. I know that people may not like that and I accept that though it does not put you on a soapbox to judge me. You can judge my work and you can only judge me when you know me some and see if my actions are bad. That is even true for you guys and me. I can’t judge you personally without knowing you guys personally.

A large factor, methinks, at the moment, that people may not be engaging with me — is that I am Muslim. Look, being Muslim and Non-White is not a crime. I have seen many people I  follow online bash Muslim philosophy and religion because something ISIS is doing. In my opinion, that is quite rude and ignorant. Can you stereotype all Christians or Jewish or Hindu people, etcetera as one people as in a state that all occupy? I think now I live in a culture that is similar to what Jewish people faced many years before. They were so ignored by top-class European countries and only Middle Eastern nations did not care about what their nationality and/or Faith was. I am not going to apologise for being Muslim neither do I think anyone, even in those times, apologised for being Jewish, Catholic or Protestant, and I am happy they didn’t. What terrorist groups do has nothing on me. Many ideologies, both religious and secular, have been misused by humans (example Communism and Capitalism) so I am afraid that those people are at fault not really the principles associated with that thought, religion or culture.

The reason I am writing this is because I feel people subtly may not be really supportive of me as a writer or as a person of such letters because they want to evaluate me on the same methodologies on what they consider just and right. I would be happy if you ask me straightforward questions and also ask me about what kind of person I am before you take that stance. There is no absolutist, universal scale of judging people always or even evaluating them so I hope that you can find in in your hearts and minds to allow me in for a while and give me space and see what I am really about.▬