Diahann does it again. By positing from her own experience she shows how Halloween allowed her to dress with the provocation and seduction of not the flesh but of her alteriority/alternate self which has been a core of herself but only surface deeply exposed because she is always juggling between what society told her and what her selfhood told and taught her so I also wrote this comment to her that actually showed my Halloween scares and elucidated what internalised misogyny and other things can be sexist are played:
“Seeing that sexualisation of females is a stereotypical concept just as sexualising males I think this is an important article. On Youtube a woman was criticising another woman on how “girls should help guys” when it came to dressing provocatively as in not be a distraction. The explanation she gave was internalised misogyny and sexism. Not only was she unaware of the feminist principles (so she pretty much thought women’s complaints are trivial she also deemed that because mammary glands served a function and guys chests don’t women needing to cover up their chest more is practical. Not only has she missed that male’s chests are eroticised as much as topless women but her comments were also silly as in how she thought men do not complain and men are not told to suck up their weight and that men do not complain about “bringing home the bacon.”
So, I instantly told her that men can help themselves and her very concept about women is flawed. What really got to me was she said going out to work is a chore and staying at home is a “vacation” and you know women’s roles are a privilege and should not be taken as a burden and should be “embraced” – that in itself was a deeply damaged answer. I mean I told her by saying housework is a holiday she has pretty much shown why feminism is important and why women, who do not work outside of home, are also struggling to get recognised. That she inadvertently disrespected women who even raised her. Women who walk 10 mile tracks to get water from home and women whose teats hurt as they suckle an infant who tugs hard. I really thought she should be ashamed of herself. Clothing may be inappropriate or appropriate but that gives no men and/or women rights to harass another human being. When men in sports get almost naked women can go and harass them (as men do female sportsman) but because society has deemed it unacceptable that is why women cannot do that.
I told her that by showing that women’s work is a “holiday” she had perpetuated a very biased idea of male and female work which were used as a form of punitive or restrictive apparatus that aided in the economy of wage slavery. Wage slavery has happened like this. Has happened when women who also worked for the economy but at home or from home was relegated and excluded from the decision making process to what their own production was entailing forging a subordination paradigm that has been used even on men in the working class. By making private and public more a dichotomy and not fluidity made women’s contributions to family and home and economy more elusive and vague and cut out from the long equation though they righteously need to be included. So, I told her in the end that because she is one of the women who have been put into believing that propaganda and she truly believes she is on “holiday” that is why she will work twice as hard but reap nothing and always find things missing in her life. As holidays cannot replace work and if she thinks of these things as not work her life is incomplete.
I said all these things because on Halloween this was my genuine scare – a brainwashed Stepford Wife of a woman who cannot do anything but embraces her abuse as legitimate rather as illegitimate and considers women who see something wrong with even a domestic situation as a naggar rather than someone who has a point. I think this just proves why we need both individual empowerment and female empowerment with male empowerment. I also explained to her that a person who keeps house is doing more than a 9 to 5 job because they are helping to construct and individual and social identity which is important as without the home and hearth people get psychotic or neurotic and do things that are self detrimental. I was actually furious with the comment because it relegated and censored women’s and even men’s experiences. I have had men tell me that they wish their wives got out more and were not self-conscious homebodies or just not a homey person. In light of that frustration, that dissatisfaction, and also the numerous psychopathologies that women go through that remark was hot as the branding irony of humiliation and another form of slut-shaming.
Your comment, as I was reminded by the comment above me, also reminds me of Drake’s “Hotline Bling” which may have a nice tune and I don’t mind listening to it: But it;s a fucking problematic and a bit sexist song. Drake has the gall to say he wonders how the girl in the lyrics is getting down with someone else is all he thinks about especially doing nasty aka sexual things he TAUGHT her with someone else. I was thinking well she probably taught you TOO: if she also hadn’t served as a canvas of pleasure to you as you to her you wouldn’t know the value of longing and being longed for. And I am thinking how he thinks staying at home is a “good girl”when many women who stay at home also entertain men and do solicitation of other kinds. So, this stereotype of good women only being homebodies is so ingrained into mainstream culture, and also the “housewife” who is like a trophy rather than a real person. I am happy you brought up how a witch or gypsy was the wild, untamed, non gender normative women which made sense to me. Best part is that witches stay at home A LOT hahahaha. ”
Outdated Witch Image Wikimedia Commons: http://tinyurl.com/qbwjm3o
As a girl on Halloween, I always dressed up as a gypsy fortune-teller. When I grew older, I swapped out my fortune-teller costume for a black gown and a pointed hat so I could play dress-up as a witch.
On the surface the reasons were convenience and vanity. While a lot of my friends wanted to bring out their ghoulish selves for the night, I wanted to be all dolled up. Putting on bangles and dangly earrings and wearing a long flowing skirt with a scarf over my head made me feel pretty, not to mention that all I had to do was raid my mother’s jewelry box for the accessories.
Playing witch was easy enough, too. The local toy store packaged the whole outfit in a bag. The broom came from my cleaning closet. And while most portrayals of witches have them looking…
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