The Modern Woman (My ENG 355: American Literature End of Semester Assignment)

The Modern Woman


What is a woman? What are the differences between a man and woman? To be frankly put, the latter question will have a myriad of answers but the former would need time to define. In actuality, both questions are universal Pandora’s boxes able to generate both positive and negative answers. To say that the differences between man and woman are that one exhibits all the characteristics of strength and dominance, and the other exhibits frailty and subservience is actually ridiculous. Most people are hermaphrodites in personality if the gender “axis” of society is perceived; masculinity, in this axis, means assertiveness, aggressiveness and dominating tendencies whilst women exhibit passiveness, indecisiveness and subordination. If this is the gender axis of common “civilized” society than obviously we can see its flaws. The flaws are in the characterization of individuals – most never fit this axis completely and the original minds seek never to pander to it as much as possible. This gender axis is also broken apart by the phenomenon of the modern day woman. Though feminism has something to do with it the evolution of the modern day woman it is beyond one specific era: This paper aims to explore, by using several texts, the qualities of a modern day woman which can be defined as assertiveness, awareness and individuality. The texts I am going to use are The Awakening by Kate Chopin, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller and The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. I will be using Emily Dickinson’s poetry and life cultural as a reference to illustrate the modern women.

Firstly, the modern day woman does not belong to one specific era as she can be defined as an emancipated individual. This evidence is proved by the poet Emily Dickinson and Edna Pontellier the protagonist of the novel The Awakening by Kate Chopin.

The soul selects her own society,
Then shuts the door;
On her divine majority
Obtrude no more.

Unmoved, she notes the chariot’s pausing
At her low gate;
Unmoved, an emperor is kneeling
Upon her mat.

I’ve known her from an ample nation
Choose one;
Then close the valves of her attention
Like stone.

The lines above are the poem by Emily Dickinson called “XIII. Exclusion” in her published Poems, Series 1. The lines can be the very slogan of individuality but these lines are from a woman who lived in a world subjugated for her gender. So, she is one of the first identities that we can call as the modern woman. She observes the world and has chosen to define it; her words are blasphemy to her culture but it is freedom – the very core of modernization which begins with the freedom to choose one’s self. In her timeline women showing this amount of bravery (Chivalry as Adrienne Rich may have called it) is obviously unwelcomed; knowing this Dickinson lived an isolated and introverted life. She didn’t want her work to be published because she knows the criticism of her society towards women. Her gallant display of her ideology in this poem is beautiful; the original individual will obviously not care what “the divine majority” cares about in respect to what they feel about her and neither will they bar her from having her own estate. The true emperor will respect her for her unimpeded style of identity but the world may ostracize her by “[closing] the valves of her attention/Like Stone.” But, the modern woman will not be discouraged to be herself – she will not withdraw herself from her-self because of people’s opinion. This exact attitude is shown in Edna Pontellier as she awakens to her true identity.

Edna Pontellier is the wife of one Leonce Pontellier and that is how she is acknowledged; like merchandise she is shown to the world as the faithful possession of one Mr. Leonce Pontellier. The person who is Edna is not born until later in life and her awakening, her metamorphosis is consequently the path of exploration, observation and ultimately the death of her oppression. Edna cannot accept society’s objectification of women; she wants to be treated as an equal human being but the society she is in does not let her. Moreover her husband is a merciless personification of the patriarchal society who gets puzzled and frustrated by the changes in Edna. Though Edna starts out as the traditional wife she grows into a mature and liberated individual who no longer wishes to play with her children and please her husband.

In the beginning Edna is the complete archetype of the traditional woman. Full of subservience and humbleness she can only act silly to please her husband. Even when she tries her hardest her husband rebukes in his calm, cool and condescending manner (as shown initially when Edna protests that the boys don’t have fever) making Edna miserable enough to weep horribly. But, she must do this in silence for the patriarchal society she lives in cannot accept her taking offense to anything her husband has done. However, this slowly changes when Edna realizes her attraction towards Robert Lebrun, a married acquaintance. He too seems to possess an interest in her and Edna experiences a sensuousness and wholesomeness of life she had not find accessible to her:

In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her position and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her. This may seem like a ponderous amount of weight to descend upon the soul of a young woman of twenty-eight – perhaps more wisdom than the Holy Ghost is usually pleased to vouchsafe to any woman.


This statement is meant to be both insightful and sarcastic by Chopin due to the fact that the Church to Edna is an exhausting mechanism that influences patriarchal dominance: with the imagery of God as The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost. It is also insightful because many women cannot possess this transcendence as Edna; they remain caged in their unsatisfying roles like Madame Ratignolle, Edna’s friend, who always seems to get pregnant or Mademoiselle Reisz who are so rebellious that they become deformed in character and are ousted by society. It is first the sensuality of Edna that makes her want to make an artist and have a atelier and be more honest with herself. She realizes her husband’s condescending behaviour towards her and decides to argue with him then just appease him. When her husband leaves for business she even gets her own house to spend her time.

Robert Lebrun and she begin a budding relationship but it interrupted by his need to leave and go away for some business. Edna gets anxious and depressed and by this time she is seduced by the notorious flirt Alcee Arobin, who is enthralled by her emerging sexuality. Though it is implied that Arobin has sex with Edna she does not care and pursues Robert. By this time Robert realizes the intensity of Edna’s attraction and tries to distance himself from her. Edna is still determined to have him and does not care that they both are engaging in an extramarital affair. She wants a relationship that is hers and not produced to her by a societal need. However, in the end Robert abandons her and Edna cannot accept going back to the role of traditional society, so, she unconsciously kills herself.

Edna’s death is symbolic and occurs only after Robert rejects her and it is too painful for her and is her realization of facts: this society was a patriarchal one and it exists only for those virile men not women. Edna’s observation of the world prior to her awakening is limited but it is full blown and rope after her metamorphosis to an independent woman as she becomes more aware of her desires and decides on doing nothing

It was so late; he would be asleep perhaps. She would awaken him with a kiss. She hoped he would be asleep that she might arouse him with her caresses.

Still, she remembered Adele’s voice whispering, “Think of the children ; think of them.” She meant to think of them , that determination had driven into her soul like a death wound – not not-tonight. To-morrow would be time to think of everything.


The characteristics that Edna displays in the sentences above are usually considered to be masculine. However, her assertiveness towards her sensuality is quite natural for any emancipated individual: the modern woman cannot suppress her sensual cravings, her address to her needs and her ability to be upfront of her feelings just by “[thinking] of the children.” She needs to be her-self and not some ideal image imposed on her. However Robert’s timid withdrawal and his impatience at not waiting for her as she goes to see Mrs. Adele Ratignolle’s giving birth is actually quite frail. He himself encouraged the relationship but he breaks it with the words: “ I love you. Goodbye – because I love you” when he realizes that Edna’s passion and intensity surpasses his – he is weakened by her command of her sexuality; the perseverance she shows towards their affair scares him. Yet isn’t frailty a “womanly” quality? In the battle of individualism Edna is victorious as she is gallant enough to grasp at what she wants but instead of being applauded by her society she knows she will branded as a whore – Adele’s forewarning of thinking of the children may have been also a reminder of her position as a woman and patriarchy’s suppression of being human while you are a woman.

Edna feels the annoying weight of all these superficial and artificial obligations, and we see her peeling away these extra skins before her suicide:

She put it on, leaving her clothing in the bath-house. But when she was there beside the sea, absolutely alone, she cast the unpleasant, pricking garments from her, and for the first time in her life she stood naked in the open air, at the mercy of the sun, the breeze that beat upon her, and the waves that invited her.


Edna’s retreat to the sea is justified – if she cannot be the way she wishes to be in her society then she will have to be herself somewhere else and this place she chooses is in the sea, the wider universe compared to the confined spaces of a patriarchal society. Like Dickinson who decided her room best described her world Edna chooses the world of death so she can be who she is: though it is tragic it is natural for modern women who were born before their time to escape into other avenues where their identities could be appreciated.

The female character present in The Great Gatsby and The Death of a Salesman are in contradiction with the modern woman though they are born during modern times. They are either incomplete as modern women or they are traditionally subservient despite the need to be more straightforward and strong. First is Linda Loman, wife of Willy Loman from The Death of a Salesman, who does everything to please Willy though Willy treats her unkindly and is even unfaithful to her. He condescends and rebukes her for things that are his fault but she lacks the spirit to do anything but pander to him and the ludicrous thing is that she wants her sons, Biff and Happy, to be subservient as well. Instead of taking charge when she realizes Willy’s mental health she believes him to be the best man around; and when he kills himself she is left lonely and confused at as to what happened. The same sort of pandering attitude is seen by Daisy in The Great Gatsby: she only loves Gatsby because he is wealthy and continues to do so with an illusion and though she is her old beau, James Gatz:

‘Make us a cold drink,’ cried Daisy

As he left the room again she got up and went over to Gatsby and pulled his face down , kissing him on the mouth.

‘You know I love you,’ she murmured.

‘ You forget there’s a lady present,’ said Jordan.

Daisy looked around doubtfully.

‘ You kiss Nick too.’

‘ What a low, vulgar girl!’


Daisy’s sensuality is not like a modern woman as it lacks the determination and passion of women like Dickinson and Edna Pontellier; it does not help to mould her identity neither is it a promiscuous attitude, it is but flimsy and meant to die away.

  Wild Nights! Wild Nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile the winds
To a heart in port, —
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart!

Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might I but moor
To-night in Thee!

The poem by Emily Dickinson above is definitely a good definition for a modern day woman who is present during modern times. Like The Great Gatsby and The Death of a Salesman the book The Sun Also Rises is written during the 20’s and 30’s the period that marked the advent of the modern woman.  Brett Ashley is promiscuous, headstrong and even attempts to dress in a neo-masculine trend made by women. Her indifference towards her affair with Cohn show an approach that was once considered masculine and Cohn’s pursuit of her even after the affair is over is a frailty once thought to be in women. She exudes confidence and is the most emancipated woman as seen in her choices and even her ability to decide who she will pursue next. Her only flaw is that she lacks direction but that is the “The Lost Generation” phenomenon that all Americans exiled from their homeland seems to experience.

In conclusion, the modern woman is a woman who is independent, strong and able to seek her identity. We see this in the real-life poet Emily Dickinson and the fictitious characters of Edna Pontellier and Brett Ashley; not, in the characters of Linda and Daisy. In all these women I find Edna Pontellier to be the perfect example of a modern woman – a person who knows what she is passionate about and isn’t afraid to seek it – a woman with direction and strength.

(2, 406 words)

Note: I took Emily Dickenson’s poems from this site

Beauty Sleeping (the distorted fairytale)

His name was Beauty and he was a damsel in distress.

The most ostentatious feature was the manicured nails; the hair was slightly bleached, yellow sunspots along linear figurations; white skin with lips glossed bubblegum pink. He looked beautiful enough and he was insomnia incarnate. The girls in the class admired him and the boys, surprisingly, did as well. He was not at all ostracized and he was quite ecstatic; he was in insomnia but no one knew it…yet… The boy wanted to be saved by a romantic kiss by another man. He read the story when he was younger – how men come up and kiss women awakened from poisoned sleep, so, he decided that it was time that he dressed up beautifully as the women and wait for his man to kiss him awake.

But awake from what? He never asked that and it was not really required. Nor did he think it important because a romantic kiss was an epiphany and it was important to house an epiphany.

So he told his parents:

” I’m on a silent pilgrimage. Bring me a woman but I will not kiss her. Bring me a man and I will surely want to get kissed by him.”

The parents found this thought audacious but they were aiming to please him so they decided if a man made their son happy they will definitely bring him one.

Their choice was an older man and Beauty disliked him immediately. The man told Beauty to wear clothes like a man but Beauty could not. When the time came to kiss the man Beauty felt helpless for he did not want to kiss the man.

His parents were enraged:

” You said you wanted a man!”

He was forcefully married to the older man and whenever he wished to dress in vivid colours the older man rebuked him:

” Why are you trying to be feminine? I didn’t marry you so you could be feminine; now, did I?”

This traumatized Beauty; this traumatized him so much that he decided that if he was not allowed to buy the clothes he wanted then he will definitely make them. Quietly, he brought a spinning wheel and it was one endowed with magic. He decided to be a Lady by night when his husband left him in his boudoir when their marital obligations were over. Then he wore pinks, reds, blues, yellows and greens to his heart contentment and was not obligated to wear only browns and blacks, and other “manly” deeper shades. He scoffed at his husband’s choices and decided to do this.

However, he was quite upset – the enigmatic epiphany of the kiss was not revealed to him.

This is not the right man, he thought, This is not the right man whom I’ve married!

So Beauty sewed his clothes at night and decided that no one entered the sewing- room except him. There was one man in his husband’s manor, the despised philanderer Witch named Charming, who yearned for the older husband’s attentions. He was envious of Beauty’s handsomeness and knew how his “feminine” qualities were despised by his lascivious master. Unable to control his urges, he kissed Beauty and spoke hotly into his ear:

“ I love it when you dress in Pink.”

Beauty felt seduced by Charming because he found no romance with his older, domineering husband, thus he decided that this Charming was the prince-man who would give him the epiphany-kiss. So, this was the decision of the passionate Beauty who wore all his pinks and reds in front of the Prince-man Charming.

“ You know this is the way I am,” Beauty confessed, “ My husband thinks I am feminine, maybe, that is true but Charming I feel I am only being myself – I thought being a man meant being assertive and that is what I’m doing; who is trying to be a woman? I’m happy being a man and I always wish that I am a man. In school people loved the way I dressed it’s a shame my husband finds me unattractive. I thought about it hard in my hand but I think a real woman is also one who is able to be herself. I know tradition may call me feminine then I will laugh at those people and gladly accept it for it is me not an artificial ‘man’ who is being himself. What do you think Charming?”

“ I believe you are yourself.” Lied the faithless Charming.

Charming went into the room of the spinning-wheel, as invited by Beauty, and saw all his designs. Charming commented on their beauty  (it was true that he liked them) and decided that he might wear some of them as his own secret after the wretched Beauty was gone. He had devised a trap for Beauty but first…he would not disagree that Beauty was beauty incarnate…

“ Let us make ourselves, bind ourselves, share with me what you share with your husband…”

In this slight whisper Beauty succumbed to the delusional love of Charming; he thought that Charming’s kiss that scorched and burned was the epiphany. Yes, it was – but, not the kind he had desired.

After the older husband had returned from the nightly visits to his men and women mistresses he once yearned for the beautiful body of Beauty; tonight, he had drunk too much ecstasy and decided that his feelings for Beauty in the category of lust surpassed the ones he had felt at that moment. He searched for his “wife” and wondered where his husband had lain. He was curious as Beauty was not in their bed nor in his boudoir. He grew worried and restless as he needed Beauty to satiate him but who would appear but Charming dressed in white and pink – Beauty’s newest design, who he had made for Charming.

“ That dress looks impressive Charming, something a woman would wear – but it suits you.” He caressed his servant’s cheek.

“ Master you do not let your wife, Beauty, wear such clothes…”

“ It’s because he gets happy, I want him to be miserable so that our lives do not get interfered by his admirers – I want him to be masculine – I think him to be masculine so that I can have some of my other fantasies quenched. He did not like me before and so if I allowed his femininity he would think me not man enough for him so I want him to be masculine. Also I had seen him feminine, I want to see him masculine as well – both sides of his fleshed coin I wish to explore…”

“ My master quench your thirst on me.”

“ Very well Charming,” the older man slaps him, “ Remember to be more humble…”

“ Yes…yes…I’m sorry, forgive me…”

“ I will forgive you after you have satisfied me. Then I will seek Beauty…”

After the deed Charming’s mischief comes to play, “ Master, do you want Beauty feminine or masculine tonight?”

“ Both as my other whores lacked his femininity and masculinity…”

“ Would you start with feminine then sir or masculine?”

“ If he is wearing his feminine clothes behind my knowledge I will rip them off his skin and then tell him to follow his obligations.”

“ Sir, he sleeps in his sewing-room.”

“ What sewing-room!”

“ Master here it is!”

The older husband is astonished to find a naked Beauty; covered in nothing, his “sin” is for the world to see. The older man is furious!


Beauty is shocked to find him in his sewing-room and what was worse he saw the smugness in Charming’s face. He is confused, “ What are you doing here? How come you know?”

“ You wretched slut! You spend your nights away from me with other lovers and sew clothes I detest!”

“ No! It was only Charming…only Charming…” Beauty’s tears questioned Charming.

“ Oh Master forgive me but your husband had seduced me!” Charming spilled pseudo-water and the older man was convinced.

“ I will punish you Beauty!” The older husband beat Beauty hard, “ Your clothes are to be burned in your blood!”

He set fire to his “feminine” creations and pricked Beauty’s fingers and let the blood drop into the flames. Beauty cried in shame and anguish, in despair and sorrow. All this time he had been deceived and he gave himself to a man as bad as his husband.

“ Now Beauty, your real punishment begins…” the older man looked with menacing eyes that hungered for satisfaction.

Beauty shriek as his spinning-wheel was used to spin glass onto his skin. Every part of his body glowed in blood and shards! He cried and cried and cried!

Charming was actually afraid but he laughed – laughter for Beauty’s punishment but fear for it as well.

“ In this your lust will sleep!” the older man showed no mercy to the heartbroken, spirit-broken and flesh-broken Beauty, “ Your love for me is all you need! This mirror will only show me, the person you only need to see and you will stay in this room until I feel satisfaction in your devotion!”

With it he raped Beauty and left stating, “ Charming will now get your belongings! You will only get them back after you have satisfied me!”

Years went by and Beauty was defiled and defiled and defiled and left to his glassed body. Charming enjoyed the position of Beauty as the legal concubine and cared not for Beauty. He only went to kiss Beauty awake before the older man would visit. He would coo:

“ I have come to awake you from the poisoned sleep of your pricked fingers by the spinning-wheel.”

“ Why Charming have you done this…?” Beauty wept and questioned.

“ Because I am rightfully the husband- wife, whatever you wish of this rightful man not you…” then with a smug smile, “ Thank-you for the dress you made me I ever so love it…I also wear the other dresses too and use  the spinning-wheel to put more jewels on them.”

“ You have…you have…” Beauty wept some more.

All Charming did was to awake him to his now doubled insomnia. Prince Charming awoke him from his glass prison but just awoke him – never free him.

One day, after being horribly raped, Beauty decided to escape. He used the mirror’s powers by night to move in shadows. As the mirror showed the image of the master of the house and the moon cloaked him in her body’s pureness, the guards did not suspect anything awry. He escaped into the forests but found moving a torture: his skin gashed with the glass he wore as his coffin drained him of blood and energy!

As time went in the forest Beauty encased himself in a glass room made of glass fragments that fell of him. It was a crypt, to see himself; as disfigured in a beautiful mirrored prison. He wept but did not know how to remove the mirrors with direct force. He forgot of his dreams of being kissed. He knew it was hopeless. No man would kiss him awake. All women found him like this – a decoration piece. He felt humiliated. He prayed and prayed for some reason.

One day a beautiful person came – Her name was Poseidon –  she wore thick armory made out of water. She saw the boxed-house and thought who had made it. Her Kingdom was Water across everywhere and she found it odd that a watery magic was seemingly being misused. She destroyed the house of glass to see the scarred glassed Beauty inside.

“ Oh my God! What has happened to you!”

But Beauty had lost his voice…too sad to speak…she approached him and kissed him…

In a fury all glass broke and glass smeared with blood but the glass inside was not broken. Poseidon carried beauty into her own private spring and laid him there.

Suddenly Beauty’s anguish turned to anger! He wanted justice and he wanted to grow wings!

He started scrubbing himself and the remaining glass mixed with water and then they became wings of glass upon Beauty’s back. He looked at Poseidon with gratitude and determination:

“ Come sweet Prince-Woman-Princess, I, your Princess-man wish to exact revenge!”

“ Of course: water used for inappropriate lust cannot be forgiven!”

They went to the older man’s manor and saw him asleep. Poseidon used her sword called Ice to stab him and he howled awake.

“ Now old man you will be my deceased husband!” Beauty screamed, he used his wings to grow shards and with the help of Poseidon used the spinning-wheel’s needle to sew into him a mirror-prison.
“ Now this mirror will show you, yourself!”

And the older man screamed as he saw the glass become more deep and sharp and soon it stabbed his innards as an Iron Maiden and set him ablaze in his own Blood. He finally was ashamed seeing his own perversity.

“ Now Poseidon I will punish Charming!”

“ Do not forgive him Dear Beauty! Kiss him awake to his Macabre!”

Beauty found Charming in his Boudoir and Charming awoke to Beauty’s lips, which gave him a kiss, but they were glazed with glass:

“ My beautiful lips!”

“ Hush thou devilish spawn!”

And Beauty kissed the wounded, damaged lips of Charming until he became weary of speech. Beauty looked in horror  as his clothes were altered: each of them had precious stones sewed into them making them look as clumsy masses!

You have disfigured my beauties! You have disfigured my passions! You have disfigured me! Now I shall disfigure you!

Beauty took the spinning-wheel and started taking his clothes and then he sewed them into Charming! Charming screamed and screamed and he sewed and sewed, until Charming laughed and said, “ What will this do?!”

“ You will become only what you lust you wretched evil!” Poseidon instructed.

Charming realized that his avarice was his greatest hunger and he foolishly succumbed…All the lace, diamonds, stones and jewels replaced his skin, flesh, organs and blood. Soon he looked like some grotesque mannequin made of nothingness – he screamed and broke apart.

Beauty then set fire to the spinning-wheel but pricked his fingers and drew blood. With that blood he forged the sword called Sleep.

“ Why have you done this dear Beauty?” Poseidon asked sweetly.

“ You have awakened me but I have also awakened myself, this sword will put to sleep my woes and sorrows – this is the first step, I will reclaim my life.”

With it he kissed Poseidon and asked if he could marry her. Poseidon decided to wait, “ My sweet Beauty let us not be in haste – you have much to recover and we must know each other more than by our deeds.”

Beauty agreed as he did not want to marry Poseidon until he was sure enough that he loved her wholly and knew her. Besides he could be swept away by another woman or man in the future.

Beauty had woken from his waking insomnia – he pined for the kiss of epiphany but with more knowledge of its powers to awake. His parents, ashamed by their decisions, asked forgiveness. He forgave but had a new pilgrimage:

“ My odyssey, my pilgrimage now, is to survive obstacles and keep myself whole.”

He then wore a garment made of vivid blue, green, red and pink in lovely illustrations and looked himself at a long mirror. He gasped at his fullness:

“ And I am asleep no more.” 

Diadem Of Cruelties (the distorted folklore)

” And there the witches glare
their eyes of hardened watery sin
There the witches sew
bodies of hair and bone
There were witches, only one was ‘she’
The ‘he’s were all quiet
The ‘he’s decided to claim the ‘she’
Then the ‘she’ gave another ‘she’
bone and hair
To become earth from air
The glasses in between…”


All is right in the world
the lights are out
All was right in this world
because the lights were out
All has to be right in the world
Because…the lights are…who switched them on?


And in the blood merrier than ever
A soul knows he and she are there alive


Blood in me
Sweet as lead
as an iron thread
making a glassy dress
touch the mould
as earth is, iron oath
dissolving in tears



Aphrodite was beautiful than ever because…well, she was heralded as beauty – spilling dark masses and lips too, and her dark earth skin made her regal. Unlike Eros, whose pallid complexion was overbearingly morbid. His hair were sun-like and so poisonously hot. Actually, he was aneroxic and far in need of nutrition.

That is why Aphrodite went to a witch, her name was Salmeen, or actually, she was paired with her brother, Lilith. Now Lilith did not like Eros because Lilith thought Eros had whispered into Aphrodite’s ear that he was not a great leader or good magician. Lilith was enraged so he told the demon Blasphemy to make Eros the most beautiful man in the present world. Salmeen, however, read that Lilith may try to do this, so she told the human Psyche to be Eros’s companion.

Psyche was an ordinary boy, born out of the demon Lust and the human Titan. He could be greedy and was prone to be under the mercy of Avarice and thus maidens did not marry him, so he declared:

” If maidens will not marry me I will remain a spinster!”

As Salmeen knew how in need of a friend Psyche was she told Eros that joys could be fun in the quiet moon. Eros impaled his new sunny looks with a house of men and women where all vices and virtues were welcome. He was happy because Psyche was with him but upset that all the maidens there decided to look at Psyche and not him.

So Eros went to Lilith and they devised a plan: Psyche must be caught with the mirror in which Aphrodite sees her face!

When Aphrodite went out Psyche was rushed into the room to look for her  mirror. Eros told Psyche that one look at Aphrodite’s meant the beauty of Eden could be seen. Curious, Psyche agreed though a bit unwilling seeing it could have bad repurcussions (is it not impolite the touch the thing of others without asking).

Psyche found the mirror but only saw another face there. Narcissi was the name of the face and he was in love with Aphrodite but Aphrodite had pushed him into a lake when they were children and didn’t know he could swim – so he became one with the lake. Aphrodite was upset and happy – upset to lose her companion but happy that he became a lake so she broke a piece of the lake – which had becomed iron and made it mirror with her blood.

Psyche said that Eros thought Eden could be seen in Aphrodite’s mirror. Narcissi laughed and declared:

” I am Eden!”

And before Psyche could do anything Narcissi grabbed him and burned him into the mirror. Psyche saw that Narcissi had come out and then he revealed his cruelty:

” I have been in the lake but I could not go to the ocean as Aphrodite went there but if I kill Aphrodite I might become Ocean and Eden both!”

” But isn’t she the one you love?!”

To this Psyche got a reply, ” I must own my earthy Aphrodite nor else how can I love her? And I will give myself under her ownership as well! Beautiful love means that one must stay and be together as one!”

Psyche was horrified: Did Eros know about Narcissi?

No, Eros did not know neither did Lilith – they had pondered that a small boy named Medusa ate anyone aside Aphrodite who looked into the mirror – but they were wrong!

Medusa the boy with skin as stone was also immersed into the lake as Narcissi but he did not want to be there as the lake was forgiving and he had vengence. He soon Psyche and told his story:

” Once upon a time I was a girl and the truth was that I was born a man but made into a woman by Apollo, the healing woman, she said a poison was stirred in me and by menstruation it would leave my body. I became a girl but soon was restored as a man but the King Nymph had seen this and wanted me to tell Apollo that if I could be allowed to change genders at will so I can be both girl and boy. I was excited to be both and girl but because of the severity of the magic my heart turned to stone and my eyes became blank. Apollo was at a loss of words but King Nymph said that in this woman-man prison of curse I will tell others of indifference and apathy so I will be his greatest weapon.
         Apollo was distraught as she realized that her magic was intervened by King Nymph so she put me in the Lake of Forgiveness so I could be a man again. But, my heart of stone makes my human self angry and agressive. I must find King Nymph.”

Psyche explained his situation, ” I must get rid of my avarice.”

” Why are you then greedy oh good Psyche?”

” I was born out of Lust and Titan and they forged me into a being who does not quell from vices or virtues – I must seek the bridge!”

 ” Well I shall help you but who is this man Narcissi?” 

” Narcissi is a man who wants a new beauty – he wishes to forsake his own.” 

” And I have heard of Aphrodite, who is she?” 

” She is a wise woman and beautiful; she is a sorceress in training who helps Sorcerers in training and she is a good friend of the wise woman Salmeen.”

” Salmeen has a brother named Lilith I heard…”

” Yes, what about him Medusa?”

“” I had heard a story from Apollo that he hates Eros.”

” Really, but he has assisted him!”

” Only to assist his revenge good Psyche.”

” I must warn Eros!”

In the meantime Eros only waned and waxed over bodies and bodies. His sun was brighter, his skin glowed and his charm seduced yet he was not happy. He missed his beloved friend Psyche and was angered by his envy. Though his envy flared when maidens asked, “Where was Psyche?”

One day, to his house, came a young maiden, a beggar, named Hercules. She was tall and looked aesthetically made for sport. She told Eros that he shouldn’t sit around and just look for Psyche. Eros realized that Lilith had made him beautiful only for physical pleasures and not for honour. To cure himself of his spell he burned his eyes with wax and became his self again.

On her journey Aphrodite had met King Nymph who was quarreling with Ares, the child guardian of armory when his older sister Athena, the God-given champion of the game War stopped them. She told Ares that Narcissi will use the sacred sword Olympus to kill Aphrodite because then he can eat her and becomed the cursed Hermaphrodite named GenderBinary.

Aphrodite is shocked and approaches them with the Hermaphrodite Verus, the blessed Hermaphrodite comes along. Verus says that King Nymph must be put to sleep for some time so that the curse in Medus can be lifted and that to do this she must break the mirror of the Lake of Forgiveness and stab him. Aphrodite requests Ares and Athena to hold down King Nymph so she can get her mirror.

Inside the mirror Medusa and Psyche are met with the End Of Time. End Of Time has come only to see them, she must go away to her pilgrimage but she doesn’t know ‘Where’ God will send her. End Of Time final act is to help Eros come into their glass. She does this by reminding Eros of their friendship which makes him grow wings and embrace Psyche – Psyche then realizes Eros has gone blind so he grows wings and from his feathers cures Eros’s blindness.

Their feathers break the mirror and Aphrodite sees this. She calls on to them and Medusa rushes forward hearing King Nymph’s name.

Ares and Athena are battling King Nymph as he hates the idea of incarceration. In this fuss and fury appears Narcissi who has aluded all the others, with his glass he stabs King Nymph removing the curse inflicted on Medusa. He then explains calmly:

” I am made of the glass that was in the lake, now, I will use it to join myself with Aphrodite but first Olympus….”

Aphrodite feels her powers draining as Narcissi kissed her, hardly, ” It is time my dear to be one and only one.”

Lilith appears with Salmeen both have jars containing something: it is their hair and broken bones. They grew back the bones they had broken and now used the hair as ferrers and the bones as wrist-chains. Narcissi is distraught and then sees Psyche . He decides to have Narcissi swim back to the lake but Narcissi refuses. He breaks free only to be then stabbed by the sword Olympus. His corpse falls into the Lake and soon the water turns hot and cold: the water is no longer complete forgiveness – it has now vanity in it and a mutalation of all things sacred.

At this moment Verus appears and tells them he must also join the lake as his Hermaphrodism will corrupt GenderBinary. She meshes with the lake as well but it still looks too distorted. That is when Psyche, Eros, Medusa, Lilith, Ares, Athena, Aphrodite and Salmeen cut themselves and pour a bit of their blood into the lake. The lake suddenly rises up and becomes a ball but it was drying up! By itself it could not own many personas!

So, that is when they all decided it was time. Medusa said he will agree. Lilith apologizes to Eros and says he wants to be with Aphrodite. Eros is embittered and says that to become Aphrodite’s husband he must first repent so Lilith agrees to become bodyguard to the garden that Eros will grow apples. Hercules takes charge of Olympus and says she will create a twin sword called Excalibur. Athena and Ares decides to age with war.  Aphrodite will see if Lilith and she are partners but before that she will create the libary of sounds and words underneath the ocean from coral who she knows speak well as God ordained and will help her. Salmeen says she will become the Oracle of winds and flowers and help sustain peace. 

With this all beings gave up their blood. The whole heavens shook and shook and in the end the water became a ball and the whole landscape turned black:

The wings of Psyche, Medusa and Eros made a white ball accompanied by the Planet Earth. 

The little thing

” The Little thing was a rarity
a complex simplicity
a morbid freedom
in hushed symphonies

This little thing is quietly noisy
for her silence vehemently shouts
her noise quells the rain
storm and sun, all in all, wholeness

But Little thing are you not made of man
A baby of ruse and whisper
Of make-up and real-up
taught to be so gargantuan

Little, Little thing are you really valuable?
And craned necks croon
the bottles hiss in disembodied melodies
the meadows dry and lakes of sand revive
Little, little thing why are you – dead?” 

In the Line Of Equilibrium

” In the citadel of planetary sins
you wore the plethora of virtues
clutched between Venus and Mars
You were popular symmetry yet assymetrical

Poised as you stood in the moonbeam way
governed by the exodus of begininng
hypnotized by the quarreling stars
Raging quietly as thunder in a box.

You said ‘No’
‘No’ to all the perfections in the front
all designs to be flawlessly thrown
in the examination they failed for thy sovereignty
mad were they to be coy and shallow in their explicit contamination

So, So, So – what is your evaluation?
Hence, I travelled to the song of the sun
moon-ray watched as voyeur in the castle of night
his seductions welcome as day blinked her eyes confused

Yet you would not say in the least positions
You made way to heavenly ordainance
Silk-cotton etcetera was your wear
You said ‘Beloved do not fear for earth is but the standard rotation…'” 

True Me

I am a paradigm of lust
a sole survivor
of mortality that deepens the void
and causes cancellation

The truth is no fairytale
The fairytale was hidden truth all along
Now, you see lore is real
The glass is not only the surface

One day you’ll see
Maybe this is not the true you
But deception is all real anyway
So, I forge an alliance with sin and virtue

In the end why make the facade?
We’re both beings near the edge
Soon to be thrust in the Lethe of eternity…

A song I wrote was inspired by Ghost in The Shell:Stand Alone Complex’s “Velveteen” (a song from the anime, the music was going through my head while writing this). Hope you guys like it.


fibroidsProbably, it was easier believed that the mountain could be lifted…why did she believe in dreaming?

She doesn’t remember when she stopped dreaming.

Her heart is a pinnacle of raw cold and raw heat: she is the incarnation of extremity. She cannot be nefarious nor nice with stability. When her heart needed something she wanted to ignore it. She didn’t like the idea of being wrought around desire though she was something of desire.

Numbness, numb fingers, flesh deceices flesh in an artificial dance; but, this is called the epitome of desire. The threads of the doll, with one unbuttoned eye blinks at her mercilessly; she thinks the inanimate could rush with animate tears but those are wild dreaming – works of an artist attempting to become God’s lover – but God cannot have a lover. The impossibility of the unbuttoned eye makes her want to know if her eyes could dream stringless or string-hanging – some sort of boudoir of luxury.

The Skin is raw here. She has de-virginized herself. She rubs the blood and sees blood in her eyes. The incubus smiles as he thinks he has called her into his scion of lust-carvers. She numbly sings a song.

She walks down her old school. She sees her ex-boyfriend. He doesn’t smile at her. Tragedy. In slow motion he is a canvas of blood; there, that is the cataract in her mind. Why should he smile at her? Wait, he smiles – he says something but she really doesn’t stay around. She’s afraid. She runs and runs until she stops near an ice-cream parlour. She orders his favourite flavour.

In the middle of the night the blood is licked by the incubus; she sheds some tears of blood and compliments her. She knows its rape.

“Why are you avoiding me?”
” Because you remind me of a bad dream.”
” Listen, we are older now and –
” Remember that time I had cut my finger and bled a lot?”
” Uh, yes..”
” The wound, I like licking it…”
” What do you mean?”
” It seems so ordinary but he likes it fine.”
” Uh, your new boyfriend…?”
” Better…he sleeps with me at night.”

Blood is something trans-experimental but also in the position of a embryo: experimental. When blood is smeared it is the initial stage for cosmetic-fineries. It is engaging, almost enchanting. It could mean a promise kept out in the garden that needs to poured some elixir of yourself. Blood is one’s own mortality thus it is the trans-experimental identity. The sucubus is She now and as skin clashes like metal the rape is galvanized by the voyeuristic incubus.

It tastes like opium. The opiate eyes look at the children and she wishes to cannabilize them. Because they are useless – they are not hers. They look like overgrown embryos and thus scissors are needed. But it is only the identity of the night-opiate: her true self, which is just jesting. She laughs with an edge:
” Do you want candy?”

The sugary delight of degradation calls her. She feels that the person’s flesh is too over-excited and she yearns the cacophony of the instrument to stop. She requests this but this breeds more restlessness but the climax is promising. She stabs him with scissors though.

When the woman came she requested an explanation:
” Why did you soak my kids in red paint?
” Well, they laughed – there wasn’t anything bad in it.”
” They look so dirty.”
” Blood is meant to be dirty at times.”
” What, what – what do you mean?”
” Can I smear you?”
” Did you…did you do something?”

 The ex-boyfriend kisses her. He cradles her and then there was a startle. Then she thought of the iebriation. She could not coil so she screamed.

The Skin and flesh was of the innocent. An untamed hemisphere, an inexperienced curious – she told the wanderer that the edge was the alien. He complimented her by saying she reminded him of his ex-beau. He was the unaware; the incubus yearned this too. Blood boiling is the sweetest scent.

She could not see the children. So, she ate an apple instead and then  got a call. Her ex-boyfriend wanted to give an apology but she countered by apologizing. She stated the best thing if exes stayed exes for a long time. The blood from the apple gave a sweet tint – his laugh was not her focus and what he said was not her importance – she smeared the apple with the blood. She laughed too.

The Skins were not the perfection. It incited. What purpose…what purpose? They are but puppets attempting to be puppeteers. So annoying. She wanted the climax in the precision of the desired ritual. Not the stagnation. A voice – not rogue, not in the party – a commodity? No, not a puppet. 


The strings are lifted?


Puppets going haywire – no, no, they are already…or are they?

In the moment she realized that the “dream world” was meant to fade, be corrupted and infected. But, where was the incubus? He was there…there…there! Why are these puppets so stagnant and why is he so impossible!

The staccato falling…the failing…oh, very very heartbreaking…

Can the heart break? Can it be like that ceramic inanimate beings? Is heart like a craftshop? Then why are there no customers! No! Wait! Why aren’t they any customers! No! Wait! Is She Ceramic! Is she! No…the bones are being bended…argh! Uh! So Painful! So Atrocious! Ceramic…it’s all glittering! It’s all being turned to ceramic! Ceramic! Ceramic! Like Plastic! Like glass-plastic! No the heart! The heart now! Why! Why does it become ceramic! No! Stop! See! It …it…Oh! It’s BREAKING!


In it the children. When they are red they look eaten. She ate crayons before – she ate them nicely. When she was younger she ate crayons. The pre-school  teacher yelled sweetly, no, no angry. Just so scared. Oh look it looked like someone has mauled you, she use to say to her and wipe her mouth. But she smeared again. Again and Again. Hoping to hear what “maul” meant – was it some kind of beauty technique. Her mother made her beautiful and spoke that beauty is pretty. Red, Red, Red, Red: So like beautiful. So like blood. Blood is actual mortal beauty. No, No, No, ceramic is -so pour the blood on the ceramic. It looks pretty. It looks precise. Maybe, it was blood poured on the forbidden fruit – Eve grinded her blood and fed it to Adam then Adam did the same – the fruit was ceramic or was it glass? Nope, they overdosed and asphxiated that is why they fell off the flat world of Heaven. So philosophers and scientists got it wrong. The earth was round as the ceramic-blood fruit that pollinated it but the world of Eden was flat.

Flat.Flat. Flat. Flat as ballerina shows, Flat as the shoes she wore as a child; Flat as the shoes she wore now. How Flat was the Universe of Perfection?

So the heart that can break could not be round. It had to be flat. Flat as surfaces when they connected, flat as two little things moving; flat, flat – then everything was numb.


She woke up to the night of nights – the daylight burned her. It seems to want to maul her through the windows. But it was not red. Her room was ceramic too – so, this was Eden-white? Eden, was it here?

” Oh Thank God you woke up! I was so scared! Those men attacked you! Do you remember!” her ex.
” What men?”
” They were…nevermind they -”
” Where is he who sleeps with me…?”
” Listen, the doctor said -”
” Where is he?”
” He’s not real…the doctor said you should -”

She gets up and runs. She sees the incubus and he is standing, standing near the window, oh yes, the open window…he wants her…she jumps and crashes…to another floor…she runs and runs…ceramic is mixing with the forbidden fruit…voices are everywhere…is this where he makes ecstacies and keeps them so he can study them?

Running and Running and Running until she sees his face clearly. It looks different. Suddenly everything breaks and the blood, the ceramic they clash. The incubus looks so foreign…like every man whose skin…No, NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

The ceramic-red heart finally must break.


” I don’t understand doctor, she lives such an ordinary life.”
” Well, that is why she kinda had a double life, she’s not well.”
” I should have known. I want to help her.”
” Does she have any family, relatives or anyone?”
” Doc, I really don’t know. She was always an enigma to me.”
” It is the extraordinary that can be mapped, the ordinary is the enigma.”
” Your belief?”
” Yes.”
“Doc, until you find anyone can I stay with her?”
” You love her…?”
” Kinda I think. I wanna help.”
” Tell you what, sign these.”
” Sure.”
” Anything you wanna tell me, anything she told you?”
” It was kinda disturbing but she said someone slept with her at night.” 

The doctor looked upset then stated:

” I guess that’s how many people took advantage of her.”


Well, that’s the end of the story. I got ideas of various books and movies including anime notably Revolutionary Girl Utena.

I went to Victoria’s Secret site and saw some ballerina shows on a model posing for jeans so I guess the idea of flatness came from there.

Hope you like the weird tale