without the drink

 

trickling down, a droplet of absurdity
parenthesis entity — that is me
I am a creature sublime to oddities
artefacts can behold me and I beholden
the seas of chaos, calamity and serenity;

surprised aren’t you when my mouth glides
on tongue and I produce a kiss of words
in sobriety, I mated with soberness and it was
sombre, there is a seriousness in the sexiness
of some abstinence and some less inhibitions (a hybrid)
I am caught in tongues, who are not carcera to cheeks

it feels in the midst of conversations I am the phantom
I do not glow with the iridescence of being high
yet I am a novelty of loosened limbs and tongue
without the bottle — I am still an engaged firefly of sorts

trying to talk to everyone … —

(9) Alcoholism: What is it like to be an alcoholic? – Quora

(9) Alcoholism: What is it like to be an alcoholic? – Quora.

The answer by Karen Opas and Geoffrey Walton really hit home. Don’t let alcohol control you.

Karen Opas:

I could drink a lot (comparatively) without showing it. At 15, I was at a bush party where a girlfriend was raped by her date–she was so drunk that she couldn’t fight him off–and I remember judging her for getting so drunk, rather than sympathizing….So I was able to tell myself that I didn’t have a drinking problem. When I started university, I got a part-time job serving tables at the bar where the CFL and NHL players partied. Once again, my drinking and drug habits seemed pretty normal. I dated a player (who would later be booted out of the league for his coke use) who liked that “I could keep up with him.” I told myself that I didn’t have a problem with drinking because I only drank when I was with other people, so I was a social drinker. REAL alcoholics drank alone–but I had groups of “friends” who lived by different clocks. I could always find people to drink with.

Sometimes people ask me if I couldn’t just have one glass of wine, how do I know that I would have the same problems with booze after all these years? I usually answer with this, “If you could play a slot machine that might reward you with a small payout, say $20, but the wrong combination resulted in your right thumb being chopped off, would you do it?” Nobody’s ever said they’d play those odds. And neither will I.

Geoffrey Walton:

A career (stellar ascent; catastrophic climax) later I was back in grad school, hiding. So I married “Her,” because her life was so wonderful it couldn’t help but fix mine. Didn’t work. She spent three-plus years telling me she would “do anything to help me get sober,” but eventually her boyfriend told her she was wasting her time, and they left, together. I think they are still married, probably happily.

haven’t had a drink in a long time. I’ve buried both my father and my mother, married a woman I thought was love of my life, fathered two sons, changed jobs, filed bankruptcy, and recently divorced my boys’ mother because an old friend of ours is, it seems, the love of HER life. I get up in the morning and get my boys ready for school; I make their lunches, fix their breakfast, and make sure they are dressed, shod, clean, and combed. Then I walk them to school, kiss them, and go to work. We do homework together, play Wii games, and build Lego’s. I was there at each of their births; I cut the cord both times. They are the greatest joy of my life, despite the absence of their mother. And I don’t drink, no matter what…

What is it like to be a recovering alcoholic: miraculous